I watch, I listen and I read the text messages; not as an innocent bystander to the issues being discussed, but as a fellow sojourner. Me too, I think as I hear the pain and depths of despair. Me too.
But what if?
I know the importance of having a tribe; a group of people to talk with, to be vulnerable with, to be able to share openly and honestly with, knowing that you won’t be judged or rejected. To just be…
This group of women who share their hearts, experiences and fears support each other in a way that is both special and loving, though I can’t help but to think they are missing a piece of the puzzle that could make all the difference in the world.
The woman who had to live through the hell of her husband’s infidelity and watch as the family they had created together being dismantled, piece by piece, turning a once loving family into a battleground of legalese. Then standing by while he married the “new love” he had found. The pain of betrayal alone is sometimes too great to bare on so many levels, and yet, she had to, all the while trying to be strong and do the right thing for the kids. Doesn’t matter if they are adults or on the threshold of becoming so.
As I read the exchange of texts, encouragement offered, prayers said, instilling support with the message that you are not alone, my mind wandered back to what if?
What if you could accept that the loving God that you put your trust in, has brought this into your life for a purpose? Not as a punishment or judgement of some wrong done, but because He loves you so much and He wants the best for you.
What if you could let go of all that you think you know about God and the Bible, and allow Him to show you what it is He wants to do?
I know things went horribly wrong. I know it hurts beyond words to describe, but what if, when the unthinkable happens, God shows up in the devastation to bring sweet, healing change?
Change will mean pain and wading through your junk, the junk you’ve long since buried, or so you thought. Change means unpacking the baggage that you’ve been lugging around for…well…most of your life. It means unpacking and putting away for good, which means that you’re letting go of those hurts for a healthier, more peaceful and joyful life.
But you can’t get there until you do the very hard work of letting go and letting God.
It means letting go of your spiritual facade that all is well if you just trust God, say the right things, pray the right prayers, read the right scriptures, attend the correct amount of church services…
It means getting real (with yourself first) and accepting that the way you’ve always done things hasn’t worked, because you’re still where you were twenty years ago.
It means embracing the pain, acknowledging that you don’t really know what you think you know.
It means letting God be who He is and letting Him do what He want to do in your life.
He’s looking to help you but He can’t do so until you are ready to see the situation you find yourself in to be the avenue He can use to bring about healing.
It means owning your part when it sometimes looks like you have no part to own.
It takes courage, my friend, a huge amount of courage but only the smallest of desires to change.
It takes a willingness to allow Him to do what He wants to do in your life.
What if you let Him?